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I was given an angel,

To cherish and love,

So tiny, so perfect,

A gift from above.

When I looked at his face

It was calmness I found,

And that peace seemed to spread

To all he was around.

His love touched my heart

Like fine threads of spun gold,

And I'd thank God for giving

This angel to hold.

But I did not know then

That time was my foe,

And too soon, with a whisper,

My angel did go.

My heart almost breaking,

A touch soft as lace

Seemed to wipe at the hurt

As it coursed down my face.

I still have my angel

To cherish and love,

Those gold threads now shimmer

From Heaven above.

And though I can't see him

Or cuddle him tight,

I won't say goodbye,

Little Angel, goodnight.





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Tributes and Condolences
For your precious ANGEL   / ^i^ Caroline's Nana
God needed another angel   / Norma Davisson
alma your pages of your little angel touched my heart I feel your loss..and my heart and prayers go out to you and your husband.. God needed another angel  and he chose your baby... and that beautiful little angel will never feel...  Continue >>
Sending love and prayers   / Saralyn Smith (online friend )
Sending love and prayers to you for Angel's 4th Angelversary. Saralyn
thinking of you   / Peggy Brady
Alma, I am so sorry for your loss.  Know I care and you are in my thoughts and prayers.
happy birthday   / Taffy Julie (in funwith headtags )
just wanted to say you are all in my prayers love julie xx
Angel / Wendy Cashion (Friend of Father)    Read >>
Hello / Sharon Robinson (Friend)    Read >>
SO SORRY I AM LATE  / Carol Angel Michael's Mom     Read >>
angel / Brianna Fairbanks     Read >>
THINKING YOU  / ETHEL HYLTON (FRIEND OF ALMA'S (MOMMY) )    Read >>
May The God of All Comfort  / Jeannie Friday (unknown friend )    Read >>
Prayers for you and your family  / Karen Morris (friend of moms )    Read >>
Friend / Carolyn Hollis     Read >>
YOUR ANGEL BABY  / Tina Eisenhart (Mommy's Friend )    Read >>
CHRISTMAS / Judi Fisher     Read >>
More tributes and condolences...
Click here to pay tribute or offer your condolences
His legacy
Angel Mills  


 


 
"I HAD TO SAY GOODBYE BEFORE
I EVEN SAID HELLO!"



Keep him Jesus

Keep him Jesus, in thy keeping

Until I reach that golden shore,

Then dear Saviour let me have him

And love him as I did before.


Alma


Jesus has a rocking chair
Many hopes of Moms and Dads
Trying to have a child of their own.
Some will never get the chance
Others will see them grown
For those that are expecting,
that precious baby soon.
But then its gone before it
ever gets the chance to leave its mothers womb.

Jesus has a rocking chair
and holds that precious baby
With oh such tender care
He takes the place of Mom and Dad
The greatest parents a child could ever have
Don't worry about the children there
Jesus has a rocking chair.

Now there are those that have lovely
boys and girls, a lovely gift from God.
But sickness or tragedy
taken them from their parents arms.
Momma's long for days gone by
while Daddy's wish for that lost child.
But tonight those children are not lost
you and I know just where they are.

Jesus has a rocking chair
and holds that precious baby
With oh so tender care.
He takes the place of Mom and Dad
The greatest parents a child could ever
have.
Don't worry about the children there
Jesus has a rocking chair.


 

In God's hands you are
In God's hands safe
In God's hands you are
I am proclaming with faith!

 
                           

An Angel with the Book of Life

 wrote down my baby's birth
and whisper as she closed it......

"Too beautiful for earth!"




"Mourn with those who mourn"

Romans 12:15

"Llorad con los que lloran"
 

                


AND GOD SAID

I said, God I hurt

And God said  I know


I said, God I cry a lot

And he said that is why

I gave you tears


I said,  Life is so hard
And God said, 

That's why I gave you loved ones                        

I said, But my loved one died!        

And God said,   So did mine!


I said,   It's such a loss
And God said,  I saw mine nailed to a cross!


I said,  But your loved one lives!
And God said,   So does yours!


I said, Where are they now?

 And God said, Mine is by my side and

  Yours is in my arms!


You never said I'm leaving
You never said goodbye
You were gone before I knew it,
And only God knew why
A million times I needed you,
A million times I cried
If love alone could have saved you,
You never would have died
In life I loved you dearly
In death I love you still
In my heart you hold a place,
That no one could ever fill
It broke my heart to lose you,
But you didn't go alone

The Angels
The Angels called so softly,
That only you could hear
We didn't hear their footsteps
Didn't know they were so near.
They took you up to heaven
On the wings of a white dove
They didn't know that with you
They took our never ending love.
For part of me went with you,
The day God took you home




The mention of my child's name
 may bring tears to my eyes,
But it never fails to bring
 music to my ears.
If you are really my friend,
 let me hear the beautiful
music of his name.
It soothes my broken heart,
and sings to my soul.


How very softly
you tiptoed into my world.
Almost silently;
Only a moment you stayed.
But what an imprint
Your footprints have left
On our hearts.
--Author Unknown

“We have suffered,
but we have survived;
We are hurting,
 but we are enduring.”
-Ben Van Vechten



God's Garden
God looked around His garden
and saw an empty space.
He looked down from Heaven
and saw your smiling face.
He put his arms around you
and whispered come to rest.
His garden must be beautiful,
He only picks the very best.
It broke our hearts to lose you,
a million times we cried.
And if our love could have saved you,
you never would have died. 

 -
For Everything God has a Reason

I thought in my heart that I'd give up and die,
for the voyage was rough and why should I try?
I floundered around in a turbulent sea
while the billowing waves kept crashing on me.

The storms raged wildly and the waters rose high;
I knew I was drowning and I cried, "Lord, why?"
I heard a voice answer; it seemed to descend
from out of the clouds and the violent wind.

Then God whispered to me, "I see you down there,
swimming alone in your black sea of despair.
I˜ve watched as you struggled in life˜s hurricane;
I've patiently waited till you called My name.

The waters are swift and it's so hard to sail,
for when you ignored Me I commanded a gale.
I sent the waves crashing in hopes you would see
that you couldn't survive without help from Me.

If your life were easy and storms never came,
be honest, my child, would you call out My name?
If you'll surrender your heart and give it to Me,
I'll be there to calm the most treacherous sea."

The waters at once became still as a breeze;
I said, "Thank You, dear Lord," and fell to my knees.
My heart felt as light as a gull on the wing,
and I lifted my voice His praises to sing.

Now when storms of life rage and waves billow high,
I don't bother my Lord with questions of why.
He gave me His promise and I understand
I've only to ask and He will lend me His hand.
                     


 "There is no foot so small
 that it cannot leave an
 imprint on this world"


"Some people only dream
of angels....
we held one in our arms"

Mommy do not worry....

I am o.k.

It is beautiful up here!

With a lamb I always lay

and with a lion I can

play!
I am just a little fellow
Who didn't quite make it there,
I went straight to be with Jesus
But I am waiting for you here.

Dont' you fret about me, mommy,
I am of all God's lambs most blessed.
I'd have love to stay there with you
But the Shepherd knows what's best.

Many dwelling here where I live
Waited years to enter in.
Struggling through a world of sorrow
and their lives were marred with sin.

So sweet mommy, don't you sorrow,
Wipe those tears and chase the gloom.
I went straight to Jesus' bosom
From my lovely mother's womb.

Thank you for the life you gave me.
I'd have loved to bring it fame.
I have all of heaven's glory
suffered none of earthling's pain.

Daddy gave me something for you.
It's our secret, mommy dear;
He pressed it tight against my forehead
Whispered in my tiny ear.

I'll be waiting for you mommy,
you and daddy....
I'll be with you then forever
Then I'll give you daddy's kisses


"Life is not measured by the number

of breaths we take,
but by the moments that take our breath away. "



"A family is a circle of love,
 not broken by a loss,
 but made stronger
 by the memories.
 We remember."

"Planted on earth to bloom in heaven"



Oh, the longing we both had,
To be a mommy and a dad.
We put our hopes and dreams in you,
He hoped for pink, I dreamed of blue.
but for you God had a different plan,
One we may never understand.
We were visited by an angel,
Though we didn't know it then.
You were the answer to our prayer,
Our Angel Unaware.

We hardly got to say hello,
Before we had to let you go.
God breathed your name and called you home.
So briefly here, so quickly gone.
But in the stillness of the night,
My empty arms still hold you tight.
We were visited by an angel,
Though we didn't know it then.
You were the answer to our prayer,
Our Angel Unaware.

In my mind I see you running.
Chasing bees and butterflies.
Soft hair gently blowing.
Healthy cheeks, laughing eyes.
In the quietness of the morning,
When the mist hangs in the air,
I hold you close within my heart -
My Angel Unaware.

How can I miss someone so much,
I barely had the chance to touch?
Yet, as you grew inside of me,
I learned how strong a love could be.
I knew you for a lifetime -
I'll love you for all of mine.
We were visited by an angel,
Though we didn't know it then.
You were the answer to our prayer,
We hold you tightly within out hearts,
And there you will remain,
Life has gone on with out you,
But it will never be the same.
For those who still have their babies,
Treat them with tender loving care,
You will never know the emptiness,
As when you turn and they are not there.

To all the grieving parents
 that visit this website.
We pray you find comfort
 knowing that you will
see
 your precious angel again.
We pray that the Lord will cover you
with his
healing love and
give you peace in the middle of
all your pain.
Sincerely,
Kevin and Alma Mills
 

"Some people only dream
of angels....
we held one in our arms
We hold you tightly within out hearts,
And there you will remain,
Life has gone on with out you,
But it will never be the same.
For those who still have their babies,
Treat them with tender loving care,
You will never know the emptiness,
As when you turn and they are not there.
What Makes a Mother

I thought of you and closed my eyes

And prayed to God today.

I asked what makes a Mother

And I know I heard him say.


A Mother has a baby

This we know is true

But God can you be a Mother

When your baby's not with you?


Yes, you can He replied

With confidence in His voice

I give many women babies

When they leave is not their choice


Some I send for a lifetime

And others for a day.

And some I send to feel your womb

But there's no need to stay


I just don't understand this, God

I want my baby here

He took a breath and cleared His throat

And then I saw a tear.


I wish I could show you

What your child is doing today.

If you could see your child smile

With other children and say



We go to earth to learn our lessons

Of love and life and fear.

My Mommy loved me oh so much

I got to come straight here.

I feel so lucky to have a Mom

Who had so much love for me

I learned my lesson very quickly

My mommy set me free.



I miss my Mommy oh so much

But I visit her each day.

When she goes to sleep

On her pillow's where I lay.


I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek

And whisper in her ear.

Mommy don't be sad today

I'm your baby and I'm here."



So you see my dear sweet one

Your children are ok

Your babies are here in My home

And this is where they'll stay.

They'll wait for you with Me

Until your lesson is through.

And on the day that you come home

They'll be at the gates for you


So now you see what makes a Mother

It's the feeling in your heart.

It's the love you had so much

right from the very start



 

 " PEOPLE TELL ME
 YOU ARE TOO PAINFUL
 TO REMEMBER....
   
 I TELL THEM YOU ARE
 TOO BEAUTIFUL
 TO  FORGET!"

          
                    

         
   
         


"Planted on earth to bloom in heaven"






"I HAD TO SAY GOODBYE BEFORE
 I EVEN SAID HELLO!"



"A MOMENT IN MY ARMS....
  FOREVER IN MY HEART"

                                                  
The story of my Angel  


For many years I had waited for the blessing of a child.  When I was


growing up my dream was like all other girls to get married to a very

nice, real, christian man and have a bunch of kids. After I got married  I found
out that I have a  problem to conceive.  I was very sad to hear that and I

would ask God "why".  I had already gone through a lot during all

my life and now "this",    so when

I found out I had finally conceived I could not believe it!

I was so thrilled!   I was going to be a mommy, a mommy!

Oh I was soo happy.  This was the happiest moment in my life

Soon I started getting stuff for the baby.  I would dray dream

about him.   I could not wait to find out if it was going to be

a boy or a girl.  We bought a crib and my b.i.l gave us a

I would go to wall-mart and stare at all the baby stuff and wanted

to get lots of things for the baby.

Soon I started showing and I felt so proud! I wanted to see everybody

that I was expecting.   

Every time we would go to the doctor we would get good reports.

The baby is doing fine...everything was just perfect.

I tried to stay off my feet as much as possible, take my vitamins etc.

Well one day I started spotting. I sensed something was not right

I went to see the doctor and he told me the blood was not coming

from the uterus that I had a lil infection and he prescribed some

medicine.  I felt relieved but I did not like the fact that he did not

take an ultrasound just to make sure everything was all right.

The following day we had to go and get some important papers

and we decided to stop at a friend's house.  We called the doctor

to let him know we wold be out of twon and that I still had some

spotting.  He asked me if I had cramps and I said no.  He told me

to go and see him Monday  (it was Thursday) because he was not working the following day.   Everything was fine until I got to my friend's

house I went to the restroom and I saw I was bleeding a lil more.

I tried not to panic. Try to understand this was my first pregnancy

and I was so naive.  I had always been told that after the first
trimester the chances of losing a baby are very low. How ignorant

I was.   We left my friend's house and I started to feel cramps

I told my hubby to look for the nearest hospital.  We stopped

at small clinic.  I had to wait hours for the doctor, There was only
one
O.B.  The cramps started to increase and the bleeding too.

But the time he came to see me I was in intense pain.

Until that point I had not thought I could lose my baby.
I thought they were going to help me and my baby and

everyting would be fine.   Well the doctor checked me

and said that the baby was fine there was nothing wrong

with him.  His heart beat was fine.  That I needed to

be on bed rest and there was a chance that 

the bleeding would stop and I could leave the hospital

he following morning.   I felt relieved.  My baby was fine!

The doctor went home to sleep and he left me under the care

of two nurses.   After some time the pain started to increase

and the bleeding. I told the nurses to give me something

for the pain but they would not do it because the doctor

had to authorize.   I started to realize that I was not going

to go home that thing were going worse but I still thought

that even if the baby were born they would help him to survive.

And everyting would be fine.   After hours of enduring intense

pain the nurses decided to call the doctor. When he arrived

I was very dilated and he proceeded to induce the birth.
When Angel was born he was alive. I was expecting the

doctor the place in the incubator but he refused.

He said:  We need to let him go.  He is too little to survive.

(I was  26 weeks)I am a premature baby myself but the doctor helped me and I survived. But when the doctor said he was not going to put him in the incubator,  I was in shock I could not

believe it! No, please help him, my husband and I begged.

He said we just do not have the technology here to help him

plus I have to call the pediatrician???????

The nurse took him away. He was still alive.  I always

had thought he had passed away after few minutes but

(I recently found out he lived more than 2 hours!)  I hate

the fact that I did not hold him all that time before he was gone.
That my poor baby was there laying on the table by himself
for TWO hours trying to survive. ( The doctor told me he was dying right there minutes after he was born)
I had only the opportunity to hold him after several hours after he had passed away and he was already so cold and purple.

I told the doctor the he could have inject steroids to

strenghten his lungs.  If that would have been done

when we arrived, things would have been different.

If I had known I would not receive help there I could

have gone to Dallas that it is only 40 minutes away.

So my dreams were shattered that horrible day

Jan. 7, 2005 a day before my birthday.  We decided

to bury him on the 9th.   Very few people attended the

funeral.  Unfortunatly the loss of a preterm baby is

not recognized by society as the loss of an adult or

a grown up child. Somebody even said:  Please Alma

get over it he was not even a person yet!

The woman in charge of the funeral told me:

Well I guess now that there is no baby you can

do something more productive like going back

to college!????  

My dreams were shattered. I will never

 hear him calling me "Mommy"

(Oh how much I wanted him to call me Mom)

How much I wanted to take care of him. To hear

him cooing. To teach him how to walk, how

to talk and mainly  to teach him about my

sweet Jesus and raise him in God's ways.

I love this lil saying:


Dear Lord Jesus,
I wanted to sit my baby in my lap and tell
him about you. But since I never had that
chance....Can you sit him in your lap and
tell him about me"

I do give thanks to my sweet Lord Jesus for letting
me have him for several months in my womb. I know
I will see my precious Angel one day in heaven and
nothing and nobody will separate us anymore. That is
my hope and that is what keeps me going everyday.
Thank you very much for reading his story. 
God bless,
Alma 




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